Soar like an Eagle
Posted: Sunday, March 15, 2009
by Desmond Chua
Jim is a manager working for a local bank and he enjoys going out for lunch with his different colleagues every day. This is his fifth job over a 10 year span and he is already feeling bored. His colleague, Ron came over to ask Simon at the pantry shortly after lunch.
Ron: Hey Simon, did you notice something about Jim at lunch?
Simon: (stirring his coffee) what about Jim?
Simon: Really? Hmmnow that you mentioned that, I recalled the same experience when we had our team lunch last week. His behavior is strange and kind of irritating.
Ron: Yes, I think so too. I mean, why can't he focus on his own food instead of constantly finding what others have on their plate? Kind of greedy, huh?
Does Jim reminds you of any friend, colleague, even husband or family member that you might know?
At work, Jim is apprehensive about telling his superior that he is getting bored with his job. He has to make 20-30 outbound calls a day and he felt such routine nature stifled his creativity. He fills his time daily fantasizing about his ideal job, miles away. He is ferocious at getting information to fill this void, constantly worried that there are many things on the other side of the fence he's missing out.
It is important for Jim to take a reality check on his behavior and understand the deeper structure behind it. If left unchecked, accumulative unfulfilled dreams will lead to him beating himself up, feeling depressed and a sense of shame. This negative energy will affect his emotional well-being and may cause him to alienate from people, going into a "mental cave" and hid within.
Jim must realize he is just as everyone else who has dreams and goals in life. The important thing is to set a plan to achieve the goals, step by step. Completing one goal, however small it may be will help to add confidence for the next pursuit.
No man is an island. We live in a connected society and Jim's goals will require support and assistance from other people, if he allows them to participate. To do the latter, he must open up his emotional doors for others to walk in, to have the courage to act on the plan consistently. Like anchors tie to one's legs, it is easy and convenient to miss out the joy, good things in life waiting to be experienced and received.
There is a Jim in all of us, actually. We are chained to our old habits, negative self-image while we live in a city of hope, aspirations and dreams. We comfort ourselves by acting out the "victim" roles and complained about how this car, house and job belong to others but never us. Subconsciously, we allow the gaps between our self-limiting belief and what we want in life to widen. The dreams get further and further away while our fear monster grew larger by the day. Are we so blind by our fear, negative thoughts, poor self-image and envy that we dare not give ourselves a chance to pursue what we rightfully deserve? Do we want to simply exist or " live" on this planet?
Not only we are handicapped in our thoughts, we are horrible in not encouraging others to pursue it as well. We paint grim picture of the crisis, re-affirming the negative news on TV and newspaper that we are lucky we still have a job (one that we didn't like). Truth is, we lack the courage to pursue our passion, what we truly love doing. We did not do so when the economy is good and will be more afraid to leave now with the crisis and uncertainty. We simply allow all noises out there to confirm our decision to stay put is right!
Is this really true? The above scenario can all be CHANGED if we start to CONSCIOUSLY BE AWARE of our thoughts patterns. Negative thoughts will breed easily in mind of people with fear, low self-esteem, self-doubt even faster.
In order to get out of this quick-sand situation, we could begin by paying close attention to our thoughts. Each time a negative thought arises, we must quickly replace it with a positive one. Doing something different to elicit a positive action is also another alternative. For example, instead of focusing on the repetitive nature of outbound calls, one can challenge himself to making every customer happy and satisfied at the other line. Every 5 successful call, reward yourself (be proactive, do not wait till your superior implement it) with a "well done" encouragement word on post-it pad handwritten to yourself. Do not underestimate the power of positive affirmations like this, done consistently and correctly, it helps to shape our beliefs and image of ourselves.
More positive thoughts must lead to actions steps. Avoid delay by implementing the idea immediately. Leave the "what-if" this or that happens later! The longer one stay at this stage wondering, the more reluctant he will be to act. The journey itself will provide the feedback for us to take and decide the next course of action.
Once positive actions steps are implemented, improved with feedbacks, it is also crucial to be repetitive to get it hard-wired into the mind (like brushing teeth till it become unconscious competence).
Keep your thoughts positive, because your thoughts become your words.
Keep your words positive, because your words become your behaviors.
Keep your behaviors positive, because your behaviors become your habits.
Keep your habits positive, because your habits become your values.
Keep your values positive, because your values become your destiny.
~ Gandhi ~
Desmond is the Founder of Inner Joy Coaching Company, a Relationship Coaching firm that helps people to discover their inner beauty and identify roadblocks that prevents them from creating a lasting and joyful relationship. He has helped singles, couples and parents from all walks of life using combined skills in Neuro Linguistic Programming, life coaching, motivation techniques and Enneagram transformational tool. He lives in one of the safest country in the world, sunny Singapore with his lovely wife and adorable son. You may reach him at happinside@gmail.com for individual/group sessions, email coaching, speaking arrangements and workshops.
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